Just sometimes

Sometimes. Just once in a while. Not all the time. It's not as if I wish I was dead, or anything of that such. But just that I have a rare, one of a kind disease. I wish I had a disease that would make me die in any moments time. A disease that would cause me pain and suffering, a disease that would be my excuse when tears roll down my face. A disease that will not just cause me agony but would instead be my distraction from the endless pain that life itself has cause me.

Yes, just sometimes. Sometimes I wish I would have merely three months to live. Just sometimes, I wish my life was heading its end. That way I would be able to let all the tears just flow out, so I won't have to deal with the annoyance that certain beings have given me. So I can go up to them and just tell them, Do as you please, because where I am going, you will not be able to follow, and simply just laugh as I walk away.

Just sometimes, only sometimes, I can't stop to wish I was infected by a disease, or be on end of the rope.